Emotional Hunger vs. Physical Hunger
A lot, a lot, A LOT of people would say they are an emotional eater, emotional eating is a problem for them, and/or they turn to food to cope with emotions. Can you relate? Really, it’s not uncommon. I think one of the main reasons it is so common is because both eating emotionally and physical hunger are so demonized. We’re taught eating when you aren’t hungry is bad and being hungry is bad. Classic lose-lose. In my experience, two statements are especially jarring for people that relate to emotional eating (I know it was for me!):
Emotional eating is normal, sometimes
Many “emotional eaters" mistake their true physical hunger for emotional hunger
Emotional eating is normal, sometimes
Yes, emotional eating can be normal and ok sometimes! Eating is a repetitive motion and repetitive motions are soothing. In certain circumstances, eating just feels right - even if you’re not really hungry. A classic example is eating ice cream after a breakup. The ice cream isn’t going to fix any of your problems, but it is comforting and it just feels right in the presence of a good cry and maybe Taylor Swift. Another example- grandma makes cookies for you and her cookies are the best cookies. You aren’t hungry but, I mean, they’re grandma’s cookies and you can’t not have one! So you do, and it’s tied to an emotion. There is no shame in this - it’s perfectly healthy to use food as one of your coping skills. It’s not necessarily helpful or healthy to use food (whether that’s eating it or avoiding) as your primary or only coping tool. When you’re feeling lonely, ice cream isn’t going to make you less lonely. Calling a friend or talking to a neighbor would actually feed your need of human connection. Trying to solve, numb, ignore, etc. your feelings using food is not helpful AND sometimes it can be helpful to express feelings in the company of food. As you can see, it’s not so black and white. Which leads me to the physical part.
Many “emotional eaters" mistake their true physical hunger for emotional hunger
What does that even mean? It means a lot of my “emotional eaters” are actually just hungry. AKA - if you’ve convinced yourself you have a lot of emotional hunger, that might just need to eat more. That’s not 100% true for every single case; however, I don’t often come by an emotional eating case that isn’t notably improved by a client learning to appropriately nourish their bodies. Learning how to nourish your body “appropriately” might be hard, though. Truly it takes a lot of learning, a lot of loosening the reigns of control, a lot of trust, and a lot of practice. It might even take partnering with a IE/HAES/ED dietitian or therapist to help you figure out how to nourish your body! If you’re looking to honor your body’s physical hunger, that means you need to know how to not only identify but honor your hunger and fullness cues. Honoring hunger and fullness cues seems like it should be straight-forward enough, but nothing is truly ever black and white. There are actually quite a few steps that are tangled into effectively listening to your body’s hunger and fullness. If you’re wanting to get more comfortable with your physical hunger (which ultimately will help you get a better handle on your emotional hunger), here are some places you’ll want to start:
Eating breakfast lunch and dinner
Not skipping meals
Staying hydrated- drinking enough water, but not using water as a crutch to avoid hunger :)
Being able to identify hunger cues
Being able to identify fullness cues
Being able to see all food as food rather than good food or bad food
Being able to identify cravings
Releasing false nutrition information
Releasing food rules
Releasing shoulds/shouldn’ts around eating
Releasing using food to change your body
Releasing expectations of how food will alter your appearance
Releasing shame, guilt, and judgement around the food you crave and eat
xx Desa