Disordered and Harmful Food Thoughts
I often talk about aspects of disordered eating (DE) or eating disorders (EDs) on my instagram or blog. This is because I want my space to be a place of safety and accountability for those who face DE and EDs. My heart breaks for everyone that struggles with anywhere on that spectrum. You may not think you are on that spectrum - and I hope with everything in me that you are right. However, I also know many many more people struggle with DE and EDs than think they do. Not everyone has a diagnosed eating disorder, but chances are most people, at some point in their lives, have disordered eating. It’s just the culture. Disordered thoughts around food are the norm for our society. If you do have disordered thoughts around food or your body, it does not necessarily mean you have an ED. You’ll have to get that diagnoses from a therapist. What I can shed some light on is what about a thought makes it disordered or harmful and what are some examples?
Disordered thoughts are thoughts that perpetuate this “inadequate,” “unworthy,” “I should,” “I’m terrible,” “I have no self control,” “I need to be,” “I need to look,” narrative in your mind. These are thoughts that keep you believing that food and your body are problems. These are thoughts that keep you believing that your body is wrong and need to be fixed or controlled. They push you further and further away from food and body peace. This may come in the form of maintaining food rules, rigid exercise routines, and even becoming obsessive about managing a health condition. These thoughts can be obsessive. A key distinguisher for a disordered thought is it never makes you feel good. A disorder thought puts you down - maybe that’s directly via negative self talk or maybe it’s a little more sneaky like praising how “good” you’ve been when you’re actually miserable.
Some examples of circumstances that invite disordered thoughts:
Telling yourself you have to work out for X amount of time to eat XYZ foods
Having food rules (not based in intolerances and belief systems, often based on weight goals, calorie goals, etc)
Serving yourself smaller portions that you know will be inadequate but telling yourself it’s enough and you shouldn’t need more
The process of restrictive thoughts: calorie counting, macro counting, eliminating food groups, not eating at particular times, eating rigid amounts, etc
Labeling foods as good and bad, unhealthy and healthy, fattening and skinny, etc
Believing something truly bad is going to happen if you eat a food that is “bad” or scary or you’ve made off-limits
Believing you have a goal weight (which is likely not practical for you) and doing whatever it takes to get there and stay there. And beating yourself up relentlessly when this doesn’t work out how you think it should.
Thoughts to eat less now, especially in front of others, and eat what you really want, in amounts that you really want, later
Using foods to cope with your emotions
Being inflexible and rigid around how you eat
Putting yourself down for your body
Putting yourself down for what you ate
Feeling guilty for enjoying life instead of eating cleaner or working out
Disordered and harmful food and body thoughts can actually be kind of difficulty to call out on your own because, again, it’s so normal in our society. It’s also largely based on intention. If you are often feeling put down by your body or what you eat, find yourself having negative thoughts about yourself, etc. I encourage you to work with a dietitian and/or therapist to have someone to help you call out those thoughts and change them.
xx Desa